Dealing with Something: When Life's Burdens Affect Your Purpose

Life has a way of placing us in situations where we must fulfill our responsibilities while carrying heavy personal burdens. Whether you're a parent struggling with grief, a leader dealing with betrayal, or a friend standing up for what's right while feeling alone, there comes a time when you must walk in your purpose while wrestling with internal pain.

The Weight of Leadership While Grieving

In Numbers 20:1-12, we find Moses facing one of his greatest challenges. The Israelites have arrived in the wilderness of Zin with no water to drink, and they immediately turn to blame Moses for their predicament. But what many miss is the crucial detail in verse one: Miriam, Moses' sister, has just died.

Moses isn't just dealing with complaining people - he's grieving the loss of the very person who saved his life as a baby. Miriam was the one who placed him on the water when Pharaoh ordered the killing of Hebrew babies. She was instrumental in preserving the life of the man who would later deliver Israel from Egypt.

When Others Don't See Your Struggle

The tragedy of Moses' situation is that no one seems to notice his grief. The people are so focused on their immediate need for water that they fail to see their leader is hurting. They don't offer condolences, suggest he take time to mourn, or show any consideration for his loss.

This reflects a harsh reality many leaders face: the higher you go, the less people consider that you might be dealing with personal struggles. The responsibility becomes more important than your internal healing, leading many to suffer in silence.

The Danger of Unprocessed Pain

When the Israelites complain about their water situation, Moses responds differently than he has in the past. His grief and frustration cause him to handle God's instructions in a way that dishonors the Lord.

Following Instructions from an Unhealed Place

God tells Moses to speak to the rock, and water will flow out. Instead, Moses strikes the rock twice with his staff while shouting at the people, "Listen, you rebels! Must we bring you water from this rock?" His tone reveals absolute frustration - he's tired of dealing with these people while no one acknowledges his pain.

The water still flows because God honors His word, but Moses' disobedience in the method reveals the danger of operating from an unhealed place. You can say the right thing but in the wrong way when you're carrying unprocessed pain.

The Consequences of Misusing Your Gifts

Moses' staff wasn't just a tool - it was a consecrated gift from God, kept in a holy place before the Lord. This was the same staff that parted the Red Sea and performed countless miracles. When Moses struck the rock in anger, he was misusing the very gift God had given him.

When Gifts Become Frustrating

Sometimes your gifts can frustrate you, especially when you're expected to use them while you're hurting. It's frustrating to know you're gifted but feel like the gift isn't making room for your pain or struggles. Moses was expected to continue performing miracles and leading while his heart was breaking.

The consequence was severe: both Moses and Aaron were told they would not enter the Promised Land. Their moment of responding from pain rather than faith cost them their ultimate destination.

The Importance of Self-Care in Leadership

This passage teaches us that spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional self-care is our responsibility, not others'. While it would be wonderful if those around us noticed our struggles and offered support, we cannot depend on that happening.

It's Okay to Step Back

Taking time to heal doesn't mean abandoning your responsibilities permanently. It means recognizing when you need a moment to process your pain so you don't misuse the gifts God has given you. It takes humility to admit that while others think you're winning in life, you know what's really going on in your heart.

Learning from Moses' Example

Moses' story serves as both a warning and an encouragement. It warns us about the dangers of leading from a broken place while encouraging us that it's normal to feel angry, frustrated, confused, and sad. The key is being careful about how we respond when we're dealing with something.

Trust as an Action Word

God told Moses he didn't trust Him enough to demonstrate His holiness. This shows us that trust isn't just something we say - it's something we do. Our actions reveal whether we truly trust God, especially in our moments of pain and frustration.

Life Application

This week, take an honest inventory of what you're currently dealing with internally. Are you trying to fulfill your responsibilities while carrying unprocessed pain, grief, anger, or frustration? Instead of pushing through and risking a "Moses moment," commit to taking time to bring these burdens to God.

Consider these questions:

- What am I currently dealing with that others may not see?

- How is my internal struggle affecting the way I handle my responsibilities?

- Am I using my gifts from a place of healing or from a place of pain?

- What steps do I need to take to process what I'm carrying before it affects my purpose?

Remember, God wants to use the best version of you - spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Don't let unprocessed pain cause you to miss out on the promises God has for your life. Take time to heal so you can honor God with the gifts He's placed within you.

Pastor Sean-Life Room Community Church